1st September 2014
So once again we find ourselves on the way to Southampton en-route to some exotic destination on the other side of the world (well not really exotic as I’m not sure you can class Canada and USA in that way) But we’re certainly looking forward with anticipation to a really enjoyable trip with a mixture of big cities and small colonial towns.
We’ll be going with Fred Olsen this time, on their biggest ship MV Balmoral, and although we’ve had the pleasure of sailing on this vessel before we’re treating it as a brand new adventure, far away from our usually outings with P&O. It’ll be interesting to compare both the service we receive from the crew and the people we’ll meet and share this experience with.
From memory there is a much more relaxed atmosphere on Balmoral and although the food is not quite so elaborate and fussy, I remember it being well presented and very tasty. Once again I’ll need to remind myself that maybe, just maybe it’s not my job to attempt to consume every dish on offer in the first few days and I should at least take it easy for the first couple of weeks.
So off we go, and for the next thirty two nights we’re expecting fun, laughter and hopefully some inspirational moments to keep this expectant Bloggist’s contributions somewhat interesting for you the reader.
Readers????? Well….we can all live in hope
Packing for a holiday is a stressful and often soul destroying task involving several individual stages, each generating its own set of emotions.
1. Euphoria – the realisation that the meticulously planned and long awaited break is literally just around the corner and the time has arrived to assemble all the trapping required for perfect holiday brings on an immense feeling of joy and happiness. There’s a permanent smile attached to your face as you troll through the drawers and cupboards at home discovering all the wonderful clothes you’d forgotten existed.
2. Expectation – you have to try them on.
3. Irritation – nothing fits properly and you have absolutely no idea how your clothes have managed to mysteriously shrink so badly since you returned home from the previous vacation.
4. Hope – you vow to go on a diet immediately despite the fact there’s only a week to go before your departure.
5. Despair – you realise that your plan to lose the required amount of weight is probably way too ambitious and resign yourself to the fact you’ll just have to go shopping.
6. Excitement – you’re going shopping and that is something you definitely enjoy. Deep down you’re glad those ‘so last season outfits’ no longer fit you and convince yourself that you must have shrunk them deliberately on a hot wash so as to avoid any unforgivable future fashion foe pars which might simply ruin the holiday. You clever thing you!
7. Indecision – there are so many nice things in your favourite shop that you really like but just don’t know where to start.
8. Resolve – not to spend too much, after all the holiday has already cost you a small fortune.
9. Smugness – there are ample opportunities to tell all of the shop assistants who serve you about the adventure of a lifetime you’re about to embark on as they ask if you’re shopping for a special occasion. They’ll tell you how lucky you are and excitedly ask many questions like ‘Do you have any room in your case for me?’ and make many flattering statements like ‘That colour is just perfect for your complexion.’
10. Guilt – maybe you were a little too smug about your holiday and hope you didn’t upset any of the lovely shop assistants who fussed around and helped you choose so many wonderful new outfits.
11. Confusion – how on earth did you manage to buy so much more stuff than you were planning on? Seems like someone deliberately set out to distract your resolve. You feel mugged by shop assistants
12. Determination – with your new outfits all neatly assembled with the old stuff on the bed back home you realise that it’s not all going to fit in one case. You need to be considerably ruthless if you’re to get under the weight allowance.
13. Surprise – the pile of clothing you’ve assembled that equates to your weight allowance is dwarfed by three other enormous stacks of stuff you just have to take as well, not to mention the other two piles which you really would’ve liked to include had there been the slightest gap available.
14. Anguish – how on earth are you going to get by with so few possessions?
15. Hostility – stupid allowances!
16. Submission – not much choice really.
17. Loathing – stupid allowances. So many expectations yet so much disappointment. Why oh why oh why do I even bother?
18. Satisfaction – the taxi’s been outside for the past 15 minutes and the case is finally packed. It’s only taken a whole week and fifty three repacks but now it’s done and the padlock has been attached. Too late to change anything now.
19. Paranoia – what have I forgotten? There’s bound to be something.
20. Panic – you sift through the remaining mass of apparel and suddenly realise that all of the new clothes you bought are still strewn around the room in puddles. You quickly stuff a few of these items in your hand luggage, grab the suitcase and race for the taxi.
21. Denial – Stuff the baggage allowance, no one will notice.
22. Apathy – never…..ever……again.