Category Archives: Travel

Club Tropicana drinks aren’t free, but they are good

21st – 22nd November 2014

Havana – Cuba

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It would be wrong of me to say I’m totally relaxed and looking forward to today’s visit to the city of Havana in Cuba, but I have no rational reason for feeling the way I do, so I intend trying to keep an open mind.

First impressions are, once again, a little mixed as the place we’re berthed at is quite dirty and dishevelled. I must remind myself of my previous comments about not expecting things to be the same here as in other places.

This is a country which is growing and improving, yes the revolution was some time ago but rebuilding takes time…and many boatloads of money.

We have to wait a while for immigration clearance and there’s a huge queue to change money into Cuban Convertible Pesos, but once that’s done we’re off. It’s a hot and sticky day and like many places there is the gauntlet of horse-drawn carriage owners and taxi drivers to negotiate. But to be fair they’re not as pushy as some of the ones we’re encountered on previous trips, so the first good point of the day is awarded.

We walked along the harbour front but a lot of care is needed here. The pavements are quite bad and are very uneven with huge holes here and there. But the people appear genuinely pleased to welcome us to their city with many an ‘Ola’ handed out along with big smiles. All seems friendly so far.

Some of the streets and buildings are seriously depressing though and there is a lot of construction and renovation happening. Unfortunately our first wanderings led us into a less salubrious area of the city and within a short time we quickly get lost in all the backstreet alleyways. I wouldn’t say we felt in any danger but elderly men urinating against the wall is never a good sign.

P1030769Much is made of the old American cars which dominate this city, and it’s true there are so many of them around the average car enthusiast could spend hours here and look at nothing else.

 

But be careful if you decide to ride….be absolutely clear in your negotiations as we heard many a story of a price being agreed but the passengers not realising the price quoted to them was per hour and/or per passenger and not a total for a tour. We heard one couple saying that as they’d had insufficient money when the time came to pay, the driver had demanded the man go off in search of cash while his terrified wife remained in the sweltering confines of the back of his car.

There are a lot of ‘dead’ railway engines around the streets as well, not all are accessible to look around but seeing the scatterings of ‘open air’ museums was interesting.

Anyway, by the evening of the first day I’m still not totally convinced, but the highlight of this tour was about to happen….we’d booked to go to ‘Club Tropicana’ to see this world famous show.

Well what can I say? It was very spectacular and with half a litre of Havana Club rum between the two of us it got better by the minute. Then to be fair we were quite lucky as we were directed to seats which gave us a decent view of the stage. Others were not quite so fortunate. The members of the audience are packed around oblong tables and this poses a big problem, a lot of folk are facing the wrong way….and it’s nigh on impossible to rotate your chair for a better look as the person behind is so close.

Overall we were both quite pleasantly surprised by the entertainment on offer although I would say that some parts became quite repetitive. This is a high-energy dance show with lots of fast salsa drum beats, so don’t expect too much variety. But it was very lively and colourful, what more can you wish from a show?

And so closed our first day here….dare I say with a smile….but was Havana or Havana Club responsible?

Day two was just as hot and sticky and there’s a load more to see and do, so off we go again. The one inescapable fact about this place is it’s cheap…very cheap.

We bought a number of presents to take home and food and drink is very reasonable…for example lobster for two with several mojitos to wash it down will cost around £20, and we bought two litres of Cubans finest rum for around £8!

We visit the the usual tourist haunts such as the Cathedral, the government buildings, revolution square, the armoury museum, etc and it was all very interesting. There is an awful lot of renovation going on so the future potential of this city appears to be a really good place to visit.

P1030807We end up having lunch in some back street café, which turns out to be the owner’s front yard with chickens and children running around, and a pile of colourful laundry drying on the washing line overhead. This for me was one of the highlight of this trip so far and demonstrated how friendly the people are here, as well as how desperate they are to earn a living, however they can. Needless to say the food was as good as the hospitality…..

And that was Havana. Much better than we’d expected and certainly different but I’m not sure we’ll come back….why?….probably because I wonder if the major renovation of this city which is happening at the moment will have a huge impact on the people and spoil the atmosphere and attitude that you feel in these somewhat chaotic streets. And as for those fantastic American cars….we all know what happened to the old buses in Malta once outside agencies put money into the local economy. Losing them would just be disastrous….oh well, I suppose we should come back in a few years time to find out what’s happened.

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Sea Day

20th November 2014

A Sea Day

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So far I haven’t included many posts during this trip about the numerous sea days we’ve had. Mainly this is because nothing much has been happening to inspire me or worth any particular mention.

After the successful and exceedingly exciting launch of ‘The Other Side of Me’, my first novel, I’ve spent most of the time on sea days trying to concentrate on my next project, or more importantly trying to decide what to do!!

I’m currently considering trying to turn this cruise/holiday blog into a book, something like a cruisers diary with a plot line running through it (a bit like Adrian Mole meets Bridget Jones with a touch of Deputy Dawg thrown in for good measure) Oh well, let’s see.

Tomorrow we reach Cuba and although I feel a certain amount of excitement about the visit, I also feel a little apprehensive.

In the meantime here’s a little ditty.

ditty

Yes I know that was awful but what did you expect? 🙂

Grand day out….Grand Turk

19th November 2014

Grand Turk

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Now here’s a place we’ve never been before, and after the events of last night we weren’t sure if we were even going to make it!

There’s a certain feeling of sadness mixed with enormous dollop of compassion generated throughout the ship at the broadcast of two simple words over the tannoy…’Code Alpha’…this means that some poor soul’s holiday of a lifetime has just turned into a nightmare. The term ‘Code Alpha’ is used to indicate there is a medical emergency on board and the announcement continues by directing the medical team to the location of the incident.

Last night there was one of these dreaded occasions which resulted in the captain needing to turn the ship around to head for the nearest port…Costa Rica…in order to obtain the very best of treatment for the patient involved.
We were told this would involve a detour of several hours, and just before we retired to bed the expectation was for a much shorter visit to Grand Turk as a result.

So imagine our surprise, and of course delight, when we awoke the next morning already alongside our berth at our original destination. Unfortunately the detour hadn’t lasted long as the patient had passed away shortly after the manoeuvre to get him ashore.

Our delight was somewhat short lived……

Anyway, our first impressions of this island were mixed. It looks idyllic with white sandy beaches fringed with shade giving palms. The facilities here have been built and paid for with money from the cruise lines and it shows…This is a manufactured destination with lines and lines of sun loungers on the beachfront, then behind the obligatory huts selling souvenirs and expensive beer there’s a swimming pool complex to rival any major resort hotel.

Oh well…let’s give it a go. We commandeer two loungers and set off for a swim.

The sea is lovely and warm and we’re in for an extra special treat. Within minutes we’re surrounded by shoals of fish, all shapes, sizes and colours. They’re really inquisitive and gently nibble at your fingers and toes if you keep still. We spent quite some time with our new piscatorial friends and it was really a lot of fun.
Unusually I was quite content to sit for some time enjoying the sun afterwards, but when midday was finally a couple of hours behind us it was time for lunch.

We found a very welcoming bar a little further along the beach, away from the main area, and settled for a platter of conch fritters and coconut prawns, followed by nachos….well, who could resist? It was great and we were really looked after by our server.

At the end the bill wasn’t too bad either and we tipped our very attentive waiter well and left….but that wasn’t to be the end of it and a bigger surprise was yet to come.

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As we walked across the sand we were called back by our waiter. He told us that he was really grateful for the tip we’d given him, and although he had nothing to give us in return, he thought we might like a memento of our visit. He then produced a Grand Turk Yellow Pages and with a huge grin he handed it over.

What can I say? Now either most of the other visitors to his bar don’t treat him very well or he’s taking the mickey!!

Well I can tell you I’m fairly certain it’s the first one of these options. Why do I think that? Well as we sat enjoying our meal we were surprised at just how much whining and whinging some of the other customers indulged in. We heard some really nasty things said and this was probably what prompted us to show this lovely guy that we, at least, appreciated his attention to our needs.

I really do despair of the behaviour of some of our fellow holiday makers who rarely understand that standards are not the same all over the world…and neither is the food.
Yes it’s hot and sticky…but it’s not his fault.
Yes the food may not be to your taste…but it’s not his fault.
Yes you may have been bitten by one of the local bugs…but…ok you get the picture.
You may be older in years folks…but you’ve never really grown up, have you?

TWIT

P1030727Anyway we had a really nice day here in Grand Turk…made all the better to know at least one resident appreciated our visit and made us feel very welcome. This may not have been our ideal destination, but it was certainly good enough.

Antigua…Nelson wuz ‘ere!

17th November 2014

Antigua..please don’t cough my way

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Home to the Copper and Lumber Inn at Nelsons Dockyard……where many a fantastic lobster lunch and rum punch has been enjoyed.

But first I’m going to start today’s post with a bit of a rant, sorry, but this just has to be said.
We’d originally booked to go on a six hour catamaran sail around the island, an exclusive trip for the sole use of the passengers of this large tin box we’ve been floating around in for the past two weeks. But as we gathered in the theatre it was starting to become obvious that not all of the attending were in the rudest of health…
There was a fair amount of coughing and sneezing going on and two or three of the crowd were exploding without the aid of a hankie or even a raised hand to catch the projectile germs. We even overheard one lady describing her extensive overnight relationship with the toilet in her cabin….BOTH ENDS….delightful.

Ah well, we thought, maybe we’ll be able to find a quiet corner on the Cat to escape these diseased few. But by the time we’d made it down to the jetty it was even more obvious that ‘the healthy’ among us were in the minority. Now to be honest the thought of being cooped up for six hours with these purveyors of infection was not very inspiring, so we abandoned ship (so to say) before even getting on.

Now here’s my point. We all know how germs are spread, and yet somehow there are many who don’t seem to care. So why is that?

I accept folk are on holiday and don’t want to miss out, but is this fair to others…..the answer my phlegm ridden friends is………NO…..and it’s just selfish to think otherwise. At least use a hankie and sneeze away from others.

P1030684Anyway, our decision turned out to be a good one because firstly we headed for Millar’s Beach where we had a great three hours indulging in paradise beaching. Then after a quick shower and change of clothes we treated ourselves to a glorious king fish meal and many a cocktail at Hemmingway’s just outside the port. Priceless…

A final amble (stagger) around the local market and we meet a nice young lady whose accent wasn’t locally cultivated.
“You’re not a local.”
“No,” she tells us, “I moved here from Hackney four years ago.”
“Don’t you miss the ease and convenience of life back home?” we ask.
“Don’t be daft,” she laughs, “Why would I want to go back to that dump?”
Looking around the market and the town she now chose to live and call home I wondered why she would consider Hackney a dump compared to this rather unkempt and somewhat grubby area of the town. But then seeing the smile on her face and thinking about the more relaxed way of life the islanders enjoy I somehow realised she wasn’t referring to the condition of her surroundings…..I think it was more a statement of the quality of her new life compared with the old, and for a moment or two I had to completely agree with her choice.

Oh and the Catamaran trip…..apparently the sea was very rough and a lot became quite unwell with the ‘motion of the ocean and the sun up above’….or was that the real cause??????

So all in all a fortuitous decision not to go….but don’t think I’m grateful all you coughers and sneezers, I’m not.

Antigua is a great place, and I really hope the germ infested masses who trampled its boardwalks today didn’t leave too many unwanted visitors behind.

St Lucia…rollercoaster to Mamiku

16th November 2014

St Lucia…one Piton or two?

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We have very fond memories of previous trips to this lush green island. It’s friendly people, beautiful vistas and pristine beaches could make the weariest of travellers find a new lease of life. We’ve already done the party catamaran to see the Pitons, taxi ride to Soufriere, the hot springs and an unforgettable trip to the Diamond Falls and botanical gardens.

This time we’ve opted for a trip out to Mamiku Gardens on the eastern coast overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. First up though is the taxi ride to get there and here is where the reference to the rollercoaster begins.

St Lucia’s roads are serious stuff and as the engine of the bus we’re in whines its protest up a virtually impossible slope there is a very strong smell of hot metal and we all start wonder if we’re going to make it to the top…….

Then we finally reach the brow of the hill and are greeted with the scariest view of the downward incline we’re about to negotiate and you can hear our fellow travellers praying the brakes work well…..or just work would be good.

Anyhow….after around forty five minutes of stomach churning up and down lurching we arrive at the entrance to the gardens which are perched on the side of a hill.

And what a treat awaited us…firstly we are introduced to our guide, a nice lady (and I mean a proper lady) who is not only the gardener responsible for the landscaping and layout of this place, but she’s also the owner.

P1030669Veronica Shingleton Smith is a gem and as she directs us around her creation she imparts her wealth of knowledge about the shrubs, trees and flowers she has grown gracefully old with. They are her babies and she will even tell you how many flowers each of them produced in past years…..incredible.

Add to that all the information she gives us about how the islanders use this vegetation to ward off or cure certain afflictions then suddenly we’re all very interested.

There are pungent leaves to infuse for headaches or gastric upsets. Tamarind which they juice to lower blood pressure, a leaf the men chew to ward off prostate problems and finally we arrive at the Noni tree.

P1030674Now there are many claims made about the health benefits of consuming the fruit of the Noni tree and the stories told by VSS would appear to endorse these theories. I will just say that I agree totally with this sweet lady’s statement that science will probably discover in the natural world the cure for just about everything.

We got to sample some of the tamarind juice along with a couple of very strong rum punches at the end of the tour, and I have to add that the couple of hours we were there flew by thanks to the very enjoyable company of Veronica.

Mamiku only ranks as #41 on Trip Advisor things to do in St Lucia…it should be higher….a really good half days tour.

Back in Castries and, yep you guessed it, it’s beer o’clock.

It’s a hot day, with a few tropical showers included for good measure, so some serious fluid replacement is required.

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And that was it really…not much happened but we did have a really good visit. So once again we bid goodbye to another of our favourite islands and dream of many happy returns.

 

Grenada…Mt Carmel Hike

15th November 2014

Grenada…Nice n Spicey!

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Last time we were here it was a Sunday and most of the town stayed shut. But not today and as the ship docked you could almost hear the surrounding area whirring and revving into action (a few crunching gears could be detected as well, but maybe that was just some of the passengers starting to move about)

Unlike Barbados this seems to be a much quieter island and although it has its fair share of cruise ships the atmosphere feels a little more ‘laid back’.

Again there a lot to do here, snorkelling, kayaking, gardening, etc, and for the not so faint of heart there is the infamous Rhum Runner trips. Loud music accompanied by lots of rum punch and limbo competitions await the party goer…and boy do they go. The rum punch would fetch the paint off the walls it’s that strong, and after one or two even the shyest octogenarian is stripping off her corset and whirling it round her head before launching herself under a limbo pole. Strange because not 20 minutes earlier she was stooped over a walking frame, I think it’s time to introduce free Caribbean rum punch on the NHS.

Then of course there are the wonderful white sandy beaches….but none of this is for us today as we have a hike in the mountains planned.

Are we mad? It’s 30 degrees in the shade with the humidity at around 80% and we’re passing up a Rhum Runner trip for a hike!!

Okay we like to try different things……so away we go.

We’re off to find Mt Carmel, the highest waterfall on the island, which according to the brochure ‘is just waiting to be discovered’. But as there is also a picture of the falls then I’m thinking someone must have already found it.

Our driver and guide, Skipper, is great company and soon has us laughing and joking despite many sudden downpours of the wet stuff.

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“It may be a bit wet and slippery,” he tells us.

But boy oh boy he was so wrong because it turned out to be exceptionally drenched and more slippery than trying to walk on a sheet of glass covered in washing up liquid…in socks. The 15 minute stroll to the waterfall turns into an hour’s ascent up the north face of the Eiger….without ropes and crampons…..but we all work together and have some really great fun.

By the time we reach our destination, made more impressive by the current weather conditions, we’re all covered head to toe in caked mud. But no one has been injured (luckily) and everyone is still smiling (surprisingly) despite the knowledge that we still have to return back the way we came at some point.

And was it worth the effort…..was it ever.

The waterfall was an impressive waterfall but the sense of achievement somehow made it seem even more spectacular.

Long story short but we made it back in one piece (obviously) and after a quick shower and fresh set of clothes we headed off to explore the town of St Georges.

We climbed the steps to fort George overlooking the harbour, but alas it was closed. So we made our way down the other side of the hill to ‘The Carenage’, the old harbour/port area, principally to find a bar.

Fortunately this was a fairly easy task and we found ourselves in a very quaint place with open views across the harbour mouth. Nice food and cold beer always welcome.

We did try to find somewhere to buy a newspaper….not because we wanted to see any depressing news, but we needed something to stuff into our sodden shoes to help dry them out. But alas there were none to be found.

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Ah well I don’t think we’ll be doing much hiking anytime soon!!

 

Great day out Grenada….with the mud and the crud and the beer.

Barbados..Far away from London and from home

14th November 2014

Oh we’re going to Barbados…in the sunny Caribbean sea

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We arrive with Bridgetown bathed in glorious sunshine, the sea a beautiful turquoise blue. This is a very busy port which usually plays host to a number of cruise ships….today is no exception with us being the fifth to arrive (and we’re the smallest)

There really is so much to do and see here that it’s difficult to know exactly where to begin. Taxis are plentiful and in general are small minibus type vehicles. Mostly the drivers prefer to sell you a half or full days tour of the island and as they may only get one chance of a fare each day then this is to be expected.

Time to negotiate a price but be specific….if you want to be by yourselves then you need to mention that, or if you only want to go to a particular place then you need to be insistent. And of course this will all be reflected in the price. If you’re not bothered what you do and are looking for the cheapest deal then be prepared to wait some time as the drivers will attempt to fill every seat in their vehicle before setting off. In our experience it’s much better to pay extra and have more control over the day’s itinerary, but more importantly it’s nicer to have the extra space inside the vehicle to enjoy the day. For around $100/120 you can get a three hour tour (short but very good)

Let’s start with our favourite….Harrisons Caves.P1010746

This is an incredible underground labyrinth of wonder and well worth the visit…..and it’s lovely and cool down there. The majority of the journey is made on a train like vehicle, but plenty of stops are made for photos, and the guides will always recommend the best views. Great couple of hours worth….and did I mention it’s lovely and cool as well?

There are a few ‘gardens’ to visit which, at the right time of year, will thrill any amateur horticulturalist with some very beautiful landscaping and stunning displays of flowers….especially orchids.

Of course just a drive around the island is a magical mystery tour in itself with stunning views both out over the Atlantic Ocean to the east or the Caribbean Sea to the west. Not to mention the turbulent history of the Caribbean, and Barbados had its fair share of the conflicts and slavery etc….A good driver can bring the whole story alive if allowed to do so (maybe another good reason to go on your own as we’ve often experienced the ‘know it all tourist’ who spoils everything by never shutting up!!!!) More often than not we always seem to end up in some off the beaten track location with a rum punch in one hand and a coconut bun in the other talking to ‘momma’….priceless hospitality.

For the more adventurous there are plenty of water sports or catamaran trips to snorkel or swim with dolphins/turtles.

Then there’s the beach…..or should I say beaches. Now I’m no great lover of sand and I’ll guarantee a small grain of the stuff will never produce a pearl in me, but I do love the beaches here. This is the place the world exists in the Caribbean, it’s where the locals meet to have fun, swim, party or just try to make a living. The water is so clear and warm you have to go for a swim, or even just a paddle.

Most places you can rent a lounger and umbrella for a few (negotiated) dollars and there’s nearly always a cold beer or three close by.

Anyway, after a wonderful day enjoying the island it’s back to Bridgetown and despite it’s somewhat shabby appearance in places, it’s a friendly town with lots of the usual stuff to see. Stop and talk to the locals, buy some of the local hand-made crafts (rather than the increasing masses of imported rubbish)

Then it’s a short walk back to the port and a few ‘Banks’ beers in the bar along with a flying fish platter…..yum.

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Barbados never disappoints and despite one or two showers today it keeps it’s excellent reputation well and truly intact.

Cheer’s Barbados.

Fun Fun Funchal

7th November 2014

Fun Fun Funchal, Madeira

P1030541The seas calmed down overnight and the day has dawned bright and warm for the first port of call of this trip.

The first thing to note is that the harbour and seafront has undergone some major refurbishment in the past few months. In the harbour area itself there is quite a bit of mess, with a lot of construction still taking place, but it appears the rest of the main promenade is almost completed. At the time of this visit the new garden areas are beautifully planted out, and the final clean up seems to be in progress.

So what did we do?

Well first up it was a walk to the market. The flowers, the fruit, the fish and just about everything else is fascinating. This is a veritable smorgasbord for the senses, and not necessarily all good, but we spent a good hour sampling Madeira wine, fruit punch, pineapple bananas and candied hibiscus flowers, as well as taking lots of pictures. We bought a few bits and pieces and a couple of bottles of the local hooch, so a quick trip back to the ship to unload was needed.

Then onward and upward to the fort at the end of the waterfront before climbing the hill towards the street café we attended last trip. But unfortunately many others had discovered this little gem and the tables were full (with more folk waiting to be seated) So back down into the town for a wander around.

A few church visits and many a shop window stared through and lunch (or more importantly beer) was calling. We found a nice bar with a bit of shade that overlooked a small fisherman’s chapel with a hug hibiscus tree in full flower, very pretty.

The beer was cold and good, the salad plentiful and cheep……BONUS.

Ice cream soon followed and after a stroll back to the promenade it was time to find another park side bar to watch the world pass by.

I suppose this wasn’t the most productive and exciting of port days, but we really enjoyed it and I’m sure we’ll come here for a longer holiday at some point.

Just a quick word about other things in Funchal.

The ship offered a tour of Funchal by tukxi…basically it’s a tuk-tuk with a different name. We’ve never seen these around Madeira before and they do look to be great fun. But the price for a tour was far cheaper in the port than the one offered on by the ship’s tour department, and there seemed to be plenty of them around to hire….just a thought.

And of course it goes without saying that a trip up to Monte on the cable car is a must….again it’s much cheaper independently than on a tour….and the views are fantastic. This should be followed by a sled down the hill in a large armchair, steered by a mad man and his mate on the back, but only do this if in fact you’re completely insane and have a very good life insurance policy.

I’m sorry I appear to be getting a little behind with the posts but will soon catch up……It’s just we’re having so much fun 🙂

A good reason for rain….

6th November 2014

Oh look……it’s a sea day!

It’s been a little bit rough over the last 24 hours and today the sky is full of billowing clouds……I feel a poem coming on.

God lifts the water from the sea
To paint his sky majestically,
With candy floss of every shape
From smiling face to swinging ape.
A bird, a bear, or just a ball
Then building, swirling, growing tall

As veiled in grey dark mists surround
With thunder, lightning, raining down.
Uniquely formed each quickly dies
It’s tears to empty from the skies.
And so my friend don’t curse the rain
God clears his sky to start again.

J Arthur Gray Nov 14

Madeira tomorrow, let’s hope the weather improves.

Remember Remember

5th November 2014

Remember Remember the 5th of November

Gunpowder, treason and plot…..well lets all hope there’s no gunpowder involved, but the treason and plot wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

And what the devil, I hear you all cry, are you talking about?

Well…..I’ve already spoken about the competitiveness of this lot, but it’s definitely starting to feel like this is one of the strangest groups of people we’ve ever travelled with (to be honest it’s not the whole group and I’m sure most of them are very nice individuals) But as usual the antics of the minority tend to capture my attention, and surprisingly it seems to be some of the older ones who are taking centre stage.

Only two days in and already there have been quite a number of arguments among the assembled. Fortunately there hasn’t been any full blown ‘toe to toe’ rows, but a few little niggles and the odd spat or two have taken place. There’s definitely a smattering of Victor Meldrews around ready with a terse ‘You can’t do that’ or a less than polite ‘Do you mind?’ turn of phrase.

And what have the miscreants who are attracting these remarks done to deserve a verbal tongue lashing?

Has he/she barged through an orderly queue to reach the last of the tea cakes??? NO

Has he/she shouted obscenities throughout the show company’s moving rendition of ‘Bring him home’??? NO (but frankly they should have done)

Has he/she been caught rummaging through Mrs Smiths racey underwear in the laundrette??? NO…..have you seen Mrs Smith?

The main cause of the disputes is space, or more importantly, how someone has positioned (or is positioning) themselves within a space.

Just like any resort with a swimming pool the whole lido deck is neatly lined with closely packed chairs and sun loungers each morning ready to receive the sun worshippers. The early birds grab the best position and then proceed to clear some personal space around their chosen spot by shoving the surrounding furniture away, and like a long line of shopping trolleys the loungers scrape across the wooden deck until the one at the end hits something fixed. This is then repeated by others and the result is puddles of occupied loungers arranged randomly around the pool with the rest in a cluttered heap up one corner of the deck, resembling a traffic jam on the M25.

Now as the morning progresses more and more of the bronzed gods arrive for a session of tanning (steady now) and this is when the territorial fights break out. The late arrivals carefully untangle a piece of the discarded furniture and attempt to drag it into a free space…..but those already in position have made sure the space around them isn’t big enough to accommodate the newcomers.

And, of course, it’s not the established occupants who are being inconsiderate…….oh no, that would be a preposterous suggestion. Possession is not only 9/10th of the law it also allows the possessor of the said space to be an evil selfish bastard as well. So as you can see….this is how it all starts.

But then this situation continues into the evening because some of these space dominators take possession of a particular seat at their dinner table as well, and woe betide anyone who disrespects that. They certain don’t tolerate anyone who wishes to ‘rotate around’ their ‘table of eight’ in order to get to know their companions a little better, and it’s not unknown for the weak to be reduced to floods of tears if they even try.

 

Oh and if any other evidence is needed for you the reader to fully understand the type of folk who are lurking among those we share this trip with, then here it is.

There’s a small party of Germans aboard who are definitely here to have fun and enjoy themselves, just like us. Now like any gathering of friends, irrespective of nationality, they are tending to get louder as the alcohol flows. Ok, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as this is a regular occurrence, again irrespective of nationality, on every cruise we’ve been on.

BUT there are some who are openly affronted by the behaviour of these happy Bavarians, and the fact they are laughing and joking in their own language drives them into the depths of paranoia.

So begins the huddled whispering, the pointing and a determination to be louder just to prove we Brits always know how to have the best time. They even resort to some attempted ‘Basil Fawlty’ mimicry for added effect…..

‘Vot ever you do, don’t mention ze var’

I even heard ‘How dare they’ at one point.

And I want to ask how dare they what?……..speak their own language? Have fun? Be German?

I though the saying was ‘older and wiser’ but just lately I’m not really convinced that’s necessarily right. I just hope that as I get older I don’t become that nasty and cynical.

That’s what I think (TWIT)

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