Hey..have you heard this one?
1st December 2014
Another Sea Day…or just a rumour?
Cruise ships are one of the greatest places in the whole of the civilised world for rumours, which range from the simply obvious to the incredibly and unbelievably ridiculous.
They’re going on all the time, but there’s always a crescendo of some of the more bizarre ideas as the trip draws near to its conclusion.
Early on there were the stories about certain individuals and their status or occupation, and apparently we had a world famous and well respected fashion designer on board as well as a very well known comedienne and even a Nolan sister. Turns out the designer was just an eccentric with strange hair and very little fashion sense, the comedienne was the least funniest person you could ever meet and the Nolan sister hasn’t been seen again as she’s gone into hiding (or maybe she never existed in the first place)
At one point the ship had a crack in the hull, the crew were working to rule and a whole gang of passengers had been arrested for nicking stuff from the shops (now that one I could believe) The weather was going to stop us getting into Cuba, someone was suing because of a splinter and rum had actually been discovered in the free punch served during the sail away party (that’s just silly)
With reference to an earlier post there is now even one tale being distributed about some members of the crew receiving in excess of $2k in gratuities each month. But I can categorically state that from all the whispering and scheming I’ve heard on this subject it’s more likely that they’ll get much less than that from this bunch to share between everyone.
Maybe I should start a rumour that folk who don’t pay their gratuities are going to be put on an international ‘tight wads’ register and are likely to be banned admission into any of the bars or restaurants on any cruise ship.
Anyway the latest rumours are that we won’t get into Ponta Delgado and we’re due to get hit by a force 10 storm as we make a run for home. And when we reach the UK we’ll be greeted with three foot of snow and Christmas (like all Christian festivals) will be cancelled in favour of a more politically correct celebration. But there’s nothing left in the shops anyway because of the black Friday lootings and all the turkeys have had to be destroyed because of deadly bacteria lurking in the skin.
Well I just don’t have enough space to list any more of them as there are so many.
Let’s just wait and see…..this could get even more stupid!!!!!
Gratuities……here’s a tip :)
30th November 2014
Another Sea Day
The sea has started to cut up a bit rough over the past 24 hours and those who haven’t taken to their beds yet are looking for things to keep themselves occupied and entertained. There are still a few who are lamely wandering around with their latest batch of t-shirts, bags and coats announcing where they’ve been recently….trouble is everybody else went there as well, so the game is now to prove you paid less for your goodies than anyone else did.
I feel slightly cheated because I didn’t buy anything with the name of a location on it, so I’m not allowed to play because…..well because I’m just a cheapskate (and proud of it)
Others are now scheming on how to get out of paying their gratuities to the well deserving crew members who’ve looked after us all so well (and they call me a cheapskate?) It ranges from cancelling the automatic additions to their cabin account with the intention of feigning illness on the last day and therefore avoiding any contact with the staff, to outright deviousness by claiming they’re unhappy with the service they’ve received over the past 34 days. That has wider ranging consequences that they either haven’t considered or just don’t care about.
One couple stated that as they’d seen their waiter ashore at one of the ports and he was in possession of the latest iphone, was wearing designer clothes and shopping for jewellery then he was obviously paid far too much and didn’t need their hard earned cash.
I am truly amazed by some of the excuses…but somehow I’m not surprised…and you wonder why I hate people!!
Yes, for us Brits, tipping is always a bit of a hot topic because it’s not a culture we’ve been used to, but come on meanies you know the situation and you should factor the cost in with the holiday. I’m so disappointed to hear you criticise the efforts of the guys and gals who work 10 to 12 hours a day/7 days a week and yet you’re too tight to reward their genuine attention to your needs…yet you’ll spend $10 on a tatty t-shirt in every port…shame on you.
Next I’ll hear some poor soul claiming that they’ve had to cancel their gratuities owing to the heavy loses they’ve suffered at the gaming tables, or that they need to be careful with the pennies because they’ve just booked another two cruises.. ….oh too late…I heard those two tales last night.
Look folks if you can’t afford it then just say so, it’s not a crime you know. But please don’t rubbish the hard working staff just to save a few bob.
TWIT.
Weirdo….
29th November 2014
A Sea Day
For us, this cruise has been one of the strangest. Don’t get me wrong we’ve been to some really interesting places and had a very enjoyable time away….the foods been ok, the weather great and the ship and the crew are good as usual. But some of the folk we’ve shared this holiday with are seriously strange. I can’t quite put my finger on any one particular reason for thinking this because there are many. There has been an excess of moaning, far more than the average cruise, and we’ve seen an unprecedented amount of ignorance and bad manners, mainly aimed in the direction of the lovely staff. And if you ever thought I was opinionated…well compared to some of these I’m a rank amateur.
Because of this I’ve been wandering around the ship singing the following which I’d like to share with you all……
“Weirdo” (to the tune Hero-Maria Carey)
There are weirdoes
When you look around this ship
You won’t have to search too far
To find another.
They’re all over
If you wander to the bar
In the restaurant or on tour
They will be there.
And when the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you.
It’s a long cruise
When you take this trip alone
Someone reaches out a hand
For you to hold.
Then you face them
And you realise with fear
That a morons sitting near
With scary eyes.
And when the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you
Lord knows
Escape is quite unlikely
But don’t let anyone
Talk you to death.
Hold on
There may be tomorrow,
In time
You’ll find the way,
But then the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you.
Nice Flowers :)
Pretty Flowers
Just thought I might pretty my blog up today 🙂
We seemed to spend a lot more time in gardens this trip….and very good it was too 🙂
Club Tropicana drinks aren’t free, but they are good
21st – 22nd November 2014
Havana – Cuba
It would be wrong of me to say I’m totally relaxed and looking forward to today’s visit to the city of Havana in Cuba, but I have no rational reason for feeling the way I do, so I intend trying to keep an open mind.
First impressions are, once again, a little mixed as the place we’re berthed at is quite dirty and dishevelled. I must remind myself of my previous comments about not expecting things to be the same here as in other places.
This is a country which is growing and improving, yes the revolution was some time ago but rebuilding takes time…and many boatloads of money.
We have to wait a while for immigration clearance and there’s a huge queue to change money into Cuban Convertible Pesos, but once that’s done we’re off. It’s a hot and sticky day and like many places there is the gauntlet of horse-drawn carriage owners and taxi drivers to negotiate. But to be fair they’re not as pushy as some of the ones we’re encountered on previous trips, so the first good point of the day is awarded.
We walked along the harbour front but a lot of care is needed here. The pavements are quite bad and are very uneven with huge holes here and there. But the people appear genuinely pleased to welcome us to their city with many an ‘Ola’ handed out along with big smiles. All seems friendly so far.
Some of the streets and buildings are seriously depressing though and there is a lot of construction and renovation happening. Unfortunately our first wanderings led us into a less salubrious area of the city and within a short time we quickly get lost in all the backstreet alleyways. I wouldn’t say we felt in any danger but elderly men urinating against the wall is never a good sign.
Much is made of the old American cars which dominate this city, and it’s true there are so many of them around the average car enthusiast could spend hours here and look at nothing else.
But be careful if you decide to ride….be absolutely clear in your negotiations as we heard many a story of a price being agreed but the passengers not realising the price quoted to them was per hour and/or per passenger and not a total for a tour. We heard one couple saying that as they’d had insufficient money when the time came to pay, the driver had demanded the man go off in search of cash while his terrified wife remained in the sweltering confines of the back of his car.
There are a lot of ‘dead’ railway engines around the streets as well, not all are accessible to look around but seeing the scatterings of ‘open air’ museums was interesting.
Anyway, by the evening of the first day I’m still not totally convinced, but the highlight of this tour was about to happen….we’d booked to go to ‘Club Tropicana’ to see this world famous show.
Well what can I say? It was very spectacular and with half a litre of Havana Club rum between the two of us it got better by the minute. Then to be fair we were quite lucky as we were directed to seats which gave us a decent view of the stage. Others were not quite so fortunate. The members of the audience are packed around oblong tables and this poses a big problem, a lot of folk are facing the wrong way….and it’s nigh on impossible to rotate your chair for a better look as the person behind is so close.
Overall we were both quite pleasantly surprised by the entertainment on offer although I would say that some parts became quite repetitive. This is a high-energy dance show with lots of fast salsa drum beats, so don’t expect too much variety. But it was very lively and colourful, what more can you wish from a show?
And so closed our first day here….dare I say with a smile….but was Havana or Havana Club responsible?
Day two was just as hot and sticky and there’s a load more to see and do, so off we go again. The one inescapable fact about this place is it’s cheap…very cheap.
We bought a number of presents to take home and food and drink is very reasonable…for example lobster for two with several mojitos to wash it down will cost around £20, and we bought two litres of Cubans finest rum for around £8!
We visit the the usual tourist haunts such as the Cathedral, the government buildings, revolution square, the armoury museum, etc and it was all very interesting. There is an awful lot of renovation going on so the future potential of this city appears to be a really good place to visit.
We end up having lunch in some back street café, which turns out to be the owner’s front yard with chickens and children running around, and a pile of colourful laundry drying on the washing line overhead. This for me was one of the highlight of this trip so far and demonstrated how friendly the people are here, as well as how desperate they are to earn a living, however they can. Needless to say the food was as good as the hospitality…..
And that was Havana. Much better than we’d expected and certainly different but I’m not sure we’ll come back….why?….probably because I wonder if the major renovation of this city which is happening at the moment will have a huge impact on the people and spoil the atmosphere and attitude that you feel in these somewhat chaotic streets. And as for those fantastic American cars….we all know what happened to the old buses in Malta once outside agencies put money into the local economy. Losing them would just be disastrous….oh well, I suppose we should come back in a few years time to find out what’s happened.
ADIOS CUBA
Sea Day
20th November 2014
A Sea Day
So far I haven’t included many posts during this trip about the numerous sea days we’ve had. Mainly this is because nothing much has been happening to inspire me or worth any particular mention.
After the successful and exceedingly exciting launch of ‘The Other Side of Me’, my first novel, I’ve spent most of the time on sea days trying to concentrate on my next project, or more importantly trying to decide what to do!!
I’m currently considering trying to turn this cruise/holiday blog into a book, something like a cruisers diary with a plot line running through it (a bit like Adrian Mole meets Bridget Jones with a touch of Deputy Dawg thrown in for good measure) Oh well, let’s see.
Tomorrow we reach Cuba and although I feel a certain amount of excitement about the visit, I also feel a little apprehensive.
In the meantime here’s a little ditty.
ditty
Yes I know that was awful but what did you expect? 🙂
Grand day out….Grand Turk
19th November 2014
Grand Turk
Now here’s a place we’ve never been before, and after the events of last night we weren’t sure if we were even going to make it!
There’s a certain feeling of sadness mixed with enormous dollop of compassion generated throughout the ship at the broadcast of two simple words over the tannoy…’Code Alpha’…this means that some poor soul’s holiday of a lifetime has just turned into a nightmare. The term ‘Code Alpha’ is used to indicate there is a medical emergency on board and the announcement continues by directing the medical team to the location of the incident.
Last night there was one of these dreaded occasions which resulted in the captain needing to turn the ship around to head for the nearest port…Costa Rica…in order to obtain the very best of treatment for the patient involved.
We were told this would involve a detour of several hours, and just before we retired to bed the expectation was for a much shorter visit to Grand Turk as a result.
So imagine our surprise, and of course delight, when we awoke the next morning already alongside our berth at our original destination. Unfortunately the detour hadn’t lasted long as the patient had passed away shortly after the manoeuvre to get him ashore.
Our delight was somewhat short lived……
Anyway, our first impressions of this island were mixed. It looks idyllic with white sandy beaches fringed with shade giving palms. The facilities here have been built and paid for with money from the cruise lines and it shows…This is a manufactured destination with lines and lines of sun loungers on the beachfront, then behind the obligatory huts selling souvenirs and expensive beer there’s a swimming pool complex to rival any major resort hotel.
Oh well…let’s give it a go. We commandeer two loungers and set off for a swim.
The sea is lovely and warm and we’re in for an extra special treat. Within minutes we’re surrounded by shoals of fish, all shapes, sizes and colours. They’re really inquisitive and gently nibble at your fingers and toes if you keep still. We spent quite some time with our new piscatorial friends and it was really a lot of fun.
Unusually I was quite content to sit for some time enjoying the sun afterwards, but when midday was finally a couple of hours behind us it was time for lunch.
We found a very welcoming bar a little further along the beach, away from the main area, and settled for a platter of conch fritters and coconut prawns, followed by nachos….well, who could resist? It was great and we were really looked after by our server.
At the end the bill wasn’t too bad either and we tipped our very attentive waiter well and left….but that wasn’t to be the end of it and a bigger surprise was yet to come.
As we walked across the sand we were called back by our waiter. He told us that he was really grateful for the tip we’d given him, and although he had nothing to give us in return, he thought we might like a memento of our visit. He then produced a Grand Turk Yellow Pages and with a huge grin he handed it over.
What can I say? Now either most of the other visitors to his bar don’t treat him very well or he’s taking the mickey!!
Well I can tell you I’m fairly certain it’s the first one of these options. Why do I think that? Well as we sat enjoying our meal we were surprised at just how much whining and whinging some of the other customers indulged in. We heard some really nasty things said and this was probably what prompted us to show this lovely guy that we, at least, appreciated his attention to our needs.
I really do despair of the behaviour of some of our fellow holiday makers who rarely understand that standards are not the same all over the world…and neither is the food.
Yes it’s hot and sticky…but it’s not his fault.
Yes the food may not be to your taste…but it’s not his fault.
Yes you may have been bitten by one of the local bugs…but…ok you get the picture.
You may be older in years folks…but you’ve never really grown up, have you?
TWIT
Anyway we had a really nice day here in Grand Turk…made all the better to know at least one resident appreciated our visit and made us feel very welcome. This may not have been our ideal destination, but it was certainly good enough.
Antigua…Nelson wuz ‘ere!
17th November 2014
Antigua..please don’t cough my way
Home to the Copper and Lumber Inn at Nelsons Dockyard……where many a fantastic lobster lunch and rum punch has been enjoyed.
But first I’m going to start today’s post with a bit of a rant, sorry, but this just has to be said.
We’d originally booked to go on a six hour catamaran sail around the island, an exclusive trip for the sole use of the passengers of this large tin box we’ve been floating around in for the past two weeks. But as we gathered in the theatre it was starting to become obvious that not all of the attending were in the rudest of health…
There was a fair amount of coughing and sneezing going on and two or three of the crowd were exploding without the aid of a hankie or even a raised hand to catch the projectile germs. We even overheard one lady describing her extensive overnight relationship with the toilet in her cabin….BOTH ENDS….delightful.
Ah well, we thought, maybe we’ll be able to find a quiet corner on the Cat to escape these diseased few. But by the time we’d made it down to the jetty it was even more obvious that ‘the healthy’ among us were in the minority. Now to be honest the thought of being cooped up for six hours with these purveyors of infection was not very inspiring, so we abandoned ship (so to say) before even getting on.
Now here’s my point. We all know how germs are spread, and yet somehow there are many who don’t seem to care. So why is that?
I accept folk are on holiday and don’t want to miss out, but is this fair to others…..the answer my phlegm ridden friends is………NO…..and it’s just selfish to think otherwise. At least use a hankie and sneeze away from others.
Anyway, our decision turned out to be a good one because firstly we headed for Millar’s Beach where we had a great three hours indulging in paradise beaching. Then after a quick shower and change of clothes we treated ourselves to a glorious king fish meal and many a cocktail at Hemmingway’s just outside the port. Priceless…
A final amble (stagger) around the local market and we meet a nice young lady whose accent wasn’t locally cultivated.
“You’re not a local.”
“No,” she tells us, “I moved here from Hackney four years ago.”
“Don’t you miss the ease and convenience of life back home?” we ask.
“Don’t be daft,” she laughs, “Why would I want to go back to that dump?”
Looking around the market and the town she now chose to live and call home I wondered why she would consider Hackney a dump compared to this rather unkempt and somewhat grubby area of the town. But then seeing the smile on her face and thinking about the more relaxed way of life the islanders enjoy I somehow realised she wasn’t referring to the condition of her surroundings…..I think it was more a statement of the quality of her new life compared with the old, and for a moment or two I had to completely agree with her choice.
Oh and the Catamaran trip…..apparently the sea was very rough and a lot became quite unwell with the ‘motion of the ocean and the sun up above’….or was that the real cause??????
So all in all a fortuitous decision not to go….but don’t think I’m grateful all you coughers and sneezers, I’m not.
Antigua is a great place, and I really hope the germ infested masses who trampled its boardwalks today didn’t leave too many unwanted visitors behind.
St Lucia…rollercoaster to Mamiku
16th November 2014
St Lucia…one Piton or two?
We have very fond memories of previous trips to this lush green island. It’s friendly people, beautiful vistas and pristine beaches could make the weariest of travellers find a new lease of life. We’ve already done the party catamaran to see the Pitons, taxi ride to Soufriere, the hot springs and an unforgettable trip to the Diamond Falls and botanical gardens.
This time we’ve opted for a trip out to Mamiku Gardens on the eastern coast overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. First up though is the taxi ride to get there and here is where the reference to the rollercoaster begins.
St Lucia’s roads are serious stuff and as the engine of the bus we’re in whines its protest up a virtually impossible slope there is a very strong smell of hot metal and we all start wonder if we’re going to make it to the top…….
Then we finally reach the brow of the hill and are greeted with the scariest view of the downward incline we’re about to negotiate and you can hear our fellow travellers praying the brakes work well…..or just work would be good.
Anyhow….after around forty five minutes of stomach churning up and down lurching we arrive at the entrance to the gardens which are perched on the side of a hill.
And what a treat awaited us…firstly we are introduced to our guide, a nice lady (and I mean a proper lady) who is not only the gardener responsible for the landscaping and layout of this place, but she’s also the owner.
Veronica Shingleton Smith is a gem and as she directs us around her creation she imparts her wealth of knowledge about the shrubs, trees and flowers she has grown gracefully old with. They are her babies and she will even tell you how many flowers each of them produced in past years…..incredible.
Add to that all the information she gives us about how the islanders use this vegetation to ward off or cure certain afflictions then suddenly we’re all very interested.
There are pungent leaves to infuse for headaches or gastric upsets. Tamarind which they juice to lower blood pressure, a leaf the men chew to ward off prostate problems and finally we arrive at the Noni tree.
Now there are many claims made about the health benefits of consuming the fruit of the Noni tree and the stories told by VSS would appear to endorse these theories. I will just say that I agree totally with this sweet lady’s statement that science will probably discover in the natural world the cure for just about everything.
We got to sample some of the tamarind juice along with a couple of very strong rum punches at the end of the tour, and I have to add that the couple of hours we were there flew by thanks to the very enjoyable company of Veronica.
Mamiku only ranks as #41 on Trip Advisor things to do in St Lucia…it should be higher….a really good half days tour.
Back in Castries and, yep you guessed it, it’s beer o’clock.
It’s a hot day, with a few tropical showers included for good measure, so some serious fluid replacement is required.
And that was it really…not much happened but we did have a really good visit. So once again we bid goodbye to another of our favourite islands and dream of many happy returns.
Grenada…Mt Carmel Hike
15th November 2014
Grenada…Nice n Spicey!
Last time we were here it was a Sunday and most of the town stayed shut. But not today and as the ship docked you could almost hear the surrounding area whirring and revving into action (a few crunching gears could be detected as well, but maybe that was just some of the passengers starting to move about)
Unlike Barbados this seems to be a much quieter island and although it has its fair share of cruise ships the atmosphere feels a little more ‘laid back’.
Again there a lot to do here, snorkelling, kayaking, gardening, etc, and for the not so faint of heart there is the infamous Rhum Runner trips. Loud music accompanied by lots of rum punch and limbo competitions await the party goer…and boy do they go. The rum punch would fetch the paint off the walls it’s that strong, and after one or two even the shyest octogenarian is stripping off her corset and whirling it round her head before launching herself under a limbo pole. Strange because not 20 minutes earlier she was stooped over a walking frame, I think it’s time to introduce free Caribbean rum punch on the NHS.
Then of course there are the wonderful white sandy beaches….but none of this is for us today as we have a hike in the mountains planned.
Are we mad? It’s 30 degrees in the shade with the humidity at around 80% and we’re passing up a Rhum Runner trip for a hike!!
Okay we like to try different things……so away we go.
We’re off to find Mt Carmel, the highest waterfall on the island, which according to the brochure ‘is just waiting to be discovered’. But as there is also a picture of the falls then I’m thinking someone must have already found it.
Our driver and guide, Skipper, is great company and soon has us laughing and joking despite many sudden downpours of the wet stuff.
“It may be a bit wet and slippery,” he tells us.
But boy oh boy he was so wrong because it turned out to be exceptionally drenched and more slippery than trying to walk on a sheet of glass covered in washing up liquid…in socks. The 15 minute stroll to the waterfall turns into an hour’s ascent up the north face of the Eiger….without ropes and crampons…..but we all work together and have some really great fun.
By the time we reach our destination, made more impressive by the current weather conditions, we’re all covered head to toe in caked mud. But no one has been injured (luckily) and everyone is still smiling (surprisingly) despite the knowledge that we still have to return back the way we came at some point.
And was it worth the effort…..was it ever.
The waterfall was an impressive waterfall but the sense of achievement somehow made it seem even more spectacular.
Long story short but we made it back in one piece (obviously) and after a quick shower and fresh set of clothes we headed off to explore the town of St Georges.
We climbed the steps to fort George overlooking the harbour, but alas it was closed. So we made our way down the other side of the hill to ‘The Carenage’, the old harbour/port area, principally to find a bar.
Fortunately this was a fairly easy task and we found ourselves in a very quaint place with open views across the harbour mouth. Nice food and cold beer always welcome.
We did try to find somewhere to buy a newspaper….not because we wanted to see any depressing news, but we needed something to stuff into our sodden shoes to help dry them out. But alas there were none to be found.
Ah well I don’t think we’ll be doing much hiking anytime soon!!
Great day out Grenada….with the mud and the crud and the beer.
Noisy but Harmless 