Tag Archives: Humour

Some kind of silliness

cover monkey - Copy2You must remember this,

A kiss is just a kiss,

But sex is a completely different ball game….

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In – Out – Shake it all about

The Hokey Cokey……….what’s that all about?

Recipe for a (seemingly) longer life

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They say that time flies when you’re having fun……so may I suggest, stop having fun and live longer.

Thought for the day

Growing old is certainly better than the alternative……dying young

 


Not sure who should take the credit for this quote……but it’s definitely not me……still a great quote

Decisions, Decisions

Before my book was published last October I spent a good part of my days writing (exactly what you would expect from an aspiring writer) It was great because I could stretch my imagination, create characters and mould their lives, which then inspired me to develop the process further, build relationships, assign personality traits and generally……have fun by my own rules in the world I designed.

This was great fun, and it gave me that tingle of excitement which encouraged me to continue on a daily basis……until the inevitable happened, and as the last chapter concluded there was a feeling of loss, a conclusion to my fun. My characters had finally served their purpose and it was time to let them meet the world (hopefully)

Then a new kind of excitement came along in the form of the finished product, brilliant,  but as a self-published author little did I realise how my days would now be taken up.

I still have many ideas racing around inside my head and I long to once again take the ‘Storyteller’s’ chair, return to my desk and create anew, to feel that tingle once more…but I can’t.

Why? well because if I want the world to meet Freddie and the lovely Lisa then I have to market the product. (It’s like the old joke about Dennis Waterman….write the theme tune, sing the theme tune) So I spend my day trawling Goodreads, Authinomy, Booklife, etc…….writing reviews for other fellow dreamers in the forlorn hope they may do the same for me.

And I have to ask myself……what am I doing?

I’m in a quandary because I want to write more, create more, it’s what I enjoy doing. But what’s the point if my efforts won’t be appreciated by others. I have to admit it’s all a little soul destroying but what choice do I have?

Oh well…….tomorrow……maybe……just maybe 🙂

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Happy New Year

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have supported, followed, liked or commented on my posts over the last year, it really is appreciated.

The launch of my first book ‘The Other Side of Me’ happened in October and It was a very exciting time, especially holding the very first copy which is something I’ll never forget. Although initially sales were quite slow I’m not disheartened and I’m feeling really positive for the coming year.

So a Happy New Year to you all, my wish is for everyone to achieve their own personal dream, big or small, and just remember……every day can be a new day with a fresh start and renewed hope, don’t waste a single one of them 🙂

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Available from Amazon as a Kindle edition or paperback

Azores…..

3rd December 2014

Ponta Degarda…Azores…we made it!

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We made it, despite the rumours!!

Having said that we only had a few hours here so just time enough to stretch our legs and visit the market. Not much else to say really.

There’s lots to do and see here but we either don’t get much time to do anything or the weather is not very good. It would be great to visit in the evening (which has never happened) because the town is all decked out for Christmas and I imagine it would be very pretty…..Ah well……maybe next time

 

4th December 2014

Sea Day & Last of the Rays

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The weather has been very mixed today and the captain has suggested that things may get a little rough over the next couple of days (let the rumours of impending doom continue)

It’s been really funny watching the sun worshippers trying to catch the last vestige of the big yellow ball in the sky on the odd few occasions it’s poked it’s head out from behind the clouds. They race for the loungers, stripping off to reveal as much skin as they dare, then collapsing in a heap….arms spread wide to maximise their exposure, only to be disappointed by an immediate appearance of a dark cloud which promptly sends them scurrying for cover.

But the weathers just playing ‘peek a boo’ and the fine rain stops as soon as they make it through the door and once again the sun comes out. So they attempt a return….but they’ve been spotted and once again the devious precipitation waits just long enough for them to bare all and relax…….such fun it has with them.

Anyway, enough sillyness.

This is probably my last post for this trip, which has been on the whole very good. Thank you for dropping by and if you’re off on your own adventure soon I wish you a very merry ‘Bon Vogage’….have a great time.

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Hey..have you heard this one?

1st December 2014

 

Another Sea Day…or just a rumour?

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Cruise ships are one of the greatest places in the whole of the civilised world for rumours, which range from the simply obvious to the incredibly and unbelievably ridiculous.

They’re going on all the time, but there’s always a crescendo of some of the more bizarre ideas as the trip draws near to its conclusion.

Early on there were the stories about certain individuals and their status or occupation, and apparently we had a world famous and well respected fashion designer on board as well as a very well known comedienne and even a Nolan sister. Turns out the designer was just an eccentric with strange hair and very little fashion sense, the comedienne was the least funniest person you could ever meet and the Nolan sister hasn’t been seen again as she’s gone into hiding (or maybe she never existed in the first place)

At one point the ship had a crack in the hull, the crew were working to rule and a whole gang of passengers had been arrested for nicking stuff from the shops (now that one I could believe) The weather was going to stop us getting into Cuba, someone was suing because of a splinter and rum had actually been discovered in the free punch served during the sail away party (that’s just silly)

With reference to an earlier post there is now even one tale being distributed about some members of the crew receiving in excess of $2k in gratuities each month. But I can categorically state that from all the whispering and scheming I’ve heard on this subject it’s more likely that they’ll get much less than that from this bunch to share between everyone.

Maybe I should start a rumour that folk who don’t pay their gratuities are going to be put on an international ‘tight wads’ register and are likely to be banned admission into any of the bars or restaurants on any cruise ship.

Anyway the latest rumours are that we won’t get into Ponta Delgado and we’re due to get hit by a force 10 storm as we make a run for home. And when we reach the UK we’ll be greeted with three foot of snow and Christmas (like all Christian festivals) will be cancelled in favour of a more politically correct celebration. But there’s nothing left in the shops anyway because of the black Friday lootings and all the turkeys have had to be destroyed because of deadly bacteria lurking in the skin.

Well I just don’t have enough space to list any more of them as there are so many.

Let’s just wait and see…..this could get even more stupid!!!!!

Weirdo….

29th November 2014

A Sea Day

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For us, this cruise has been one of the strangest. Don’t get me wrong we’ve been to some really interesting places and had a very enjoyable time away….the foods been ok, the weather great and the ship and the crew are good as usual. But some of the folk we’ve shared this holiday with are seriously strange. I can’t quite put my finger on any one particular reason for thinking this because there are many. There has been an excess of moaning, far more than the average cruise, and we’ve seen an unprecedented amount of ignorance and bad manners, mainly aimed in the direction of the lovely staff. And if you ever thought I was opinionated…well compared to some of these I’m a rank amateur.

Because of this I’ve been wandering around the ship singing the following which I’d like to share with you all……

“Weirdo” (to the tune Hero-Maria Carey)

There are weirdoes
When you look around this ship
You won’t have to search too far
To find another.
They’re all over
If you wander to the bar
In the restaurant or on tour
They will be there.

And when the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you.

It’s a long cruise
When you take this trip alone
Someone reaches out a hand
For you to hold.
Then you face them
And you realise with fear
That a morons sitting near
With scary eyes.

And when the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you

Lord knows
Escape is quite unlikely
But don’t let anyone
Talk you to death.
Hold on
There may be tomorrow,
In time
You’ll find the way,

But then the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you.

Sea Day

20th November 2014

A Sea Day

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So far I haven’t included many posts during this trip about the numerous sea days we’ve had. Mainly this is because nothing much has been happening to inspire me or worth any particular mention.

After the successful and exceedingly exciting launch of ‘The Other Side of Me’, my first novel, I’ve spent most of the time on sea days trying to concentrate on my next project, or more importantly trying to decide what to do!!

I’m currently considering trying to turn this cruise/holiday blog into a book, something like a cruisers diary with a plot line running through it (a bit like Adrian Mole meets Bridget Jones with a touch of Deputy Dawg thrown in for good measure) Oh well, let’s see.

Tomorrow we reach Cuba and although I feel a certain amount of excitement about the visit, I also feel a little apprehensive.

In the meantime here’s a little ditty.

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Yes I know that was awful but what did you expect? 🙂

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