Some kind of silliness
You must remember this,
A kiss is just a kiss,
But sex is a completely different ball game….
In – Out – Shake it all about
The Hokey Cokey……….what’s that all about?
Recipe for a (seemingly) longer life
They say that time flies when you’re having fun……so may I suggest, stop having fun and live longer.
Happy New Year
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have supported, followed, liked or commented on my posts over the last year, it really is appreciated.
So a Happy New Year to you all, my wish is for everyone to achieve their own personal dream, big or small, and just remember……every day can be a new day with a fresh start and renewed hope, don’t waste a single one of them 🙂
Azores…..
3rd December 2014
Ponta Degarda…Azores…we made it!
We made it, despite the rumours!!
Having said that we only had a few hours here so just time enough to stretch our legs and visit the market. Not much else to say really.
There’s lots to do and see here but we either don’t get much time to do anything or the weather is not very good. It would be great to visit in the evening (which has never happened) because the town is all decked out for Christmas and I imagine it would be very pretty…..Ah well……maybe next time
4th December 2014
Sea Day & Last of the Rays
The weather has been very mixed today and the captain has suggested that things may get a little rough over the next couple of days (let the rumours of impending doom continue)
It’s been really funny watching the sun worshippers trying to catch the last vestige of the big yellow ball in the sky on the odd few occasions it’s poked it’s head out from behind the clouds. They race for the loungers, stripping off to reveal as much skin as they dare, then collapsing in a heap….arms spread wide to maximise their exposure, only to be disappointed by an immediate appearance of a dark cloud which promptly sends them scurrying for cover.
But the weathers just playing ‘peek a boo’ and the fine rain stops as soon as they make it through the door and once again the sun comes out. So they attempt a return….but they’ve been spotted and once again the devious precipitation waits just long enough for them to bare all and relax…….such fun it has with them.
Anyway, enough sillyness.
This is probably my last post for this trip, which has been on the whole very good. Thank you for dropping by and if you’re off on your own adventure soon I wish you a very merry ‘Bon Vogage’….have a great time.
Weirdo….
29th November 2014
A Sea Day
For us, this cruise has been one of the strangest. Don’t get me wrong we’ve been to some really interesting places and had a very enjoyable time away….the foods been ok, the weather great and the ship and the crew are good as usual. But some of the folk we’ve shared this holiday with are seriously strange. I can’t quite put my finger on any one particular reason for thinking this because there are many. There has been an excess of moaning, far more than the average cruise, and we’ve seen an unprecedented amount of ignorance and bad manners, mainly aimed in the direction of the lovely staff. And if you ever thought I was opinionated…well compared to some of these I’m a rank amateur.
Because of this I’ve been wandering around the ship singing the following which I’d like to share with you all……
“Weirdo” (to the tune Hero-Maria Carey)
There are weirdoes
When you look around this ship
You won’t have to search too far
To find another.
They’re all over
If you wander to the bar
In the restaurant or on tour
They will be there.
And when the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you.
It’s a long cruise
When you take this trip alone
Someone reaches out a hand
For you to hold.
Then you face them
And you realise with fear
That a morons sitting near
With scary eyes.
And when the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you
Lord knows
Escape is quite unlikely
But don’t let anyone
Talk you to death.
Hold on
There may be tomorrow,
In time
You’ll find the way,
But then the weirdo comes along
You’ll lose the will to carry on,
As you cast your eyes on high
And you know you can’t deny,
Now you feel like hope is gone
Look around you and be strong.
But you’ll finally see the truth
As a weirdo stands by you.
Grenada…Mt Carmel Hike
15th November 2014
Grenada…Nice n Spicey!
Last time we were here it was a Sunday and most of the town stayed shut. But not today and as the ship docked you could almost hear the surrounding area whirring and revving into action (a few crunching gears could be detected as well, but maybe that was just some of the passengers starting to move about)
Unlike Barbados this seems to be a much quieter island and although it has its fair share of cruise ships the atmosphere feels a little more ‘laid back’.
Again there a lot to do here, snorkelling, kayaking, gardening, etc, and for the not so faint of heart there is the infamous Rhum Runner trips. Loud music accompanied by lots of rum punch and limbo competitions await the party goer…and boy do they go. The rum punch would fetch the paint off the walls it’s that strong, and after one or two even the shyest octogenarian is stripping off her corset and whirling it round her head before launching herself under a limbo pole. Strange because not 20 minutes earlier she was stooped over a walking frame, I think it’s time to introduce free Caribbean rum punch on the NHS.
Then of course there are the wonderful white sandy beaches….but none of this is for us today as we have a hike in the mountains planned.
Are we mad? It’s 30 degrees in the shade with the humidity at around 80% and we’re passing up a Rhum Runner trip for a hike!!
Okay we like to try different things……so away we go.
We’re off to find Mt Carmel, the highest waterfall on the island, which according to the brochure ‘is just waiting to be discovered’. But as there is also a picture of the falls then I’m thinking someone must have already found it.
Our driver and guide, Skipper, is great company and soon has us laughing and joking despite many sudden downpours of the wet stuff.
“It may be a bit wet and slippery,” he tells us.
But boy oh boy he was so wrong because it turned out to be exceptionally drenched and more slippery than trying to walk on a sheet of glass covered in washing up liquid…in socks. The 15 minute stroll to the waterfall turns into an hour’s ascent up the north face of the Eiger….without ropes and crampons…..but we all work together and have some really great fun.
By the time we reach our destination, made more impressive by the current weather conditions, we’re all covered head to toe in caked mud. But no one has been injured (luckily) and everyone is still smiling (surprisingly) despite the knowledge that we still have to return back the way we came at some point.
And was it worth the effort…..was it ever.
The waterfall was an impressive waterfall but the sense of achievement somehow made it seem even more spectacular.
Long story short but we made it back in one piece (obviously) and after a quick shower and fresh set of clothes we headed off to explore the town of St Georges.
We climbed the steps to fort George overlooking the harbour, but alas it was closed. So we made our way down the other side of the hill to ‘The Carenage’, the old harbour/port area, principally to find a bar.
Fortunately this was a fairly easy task and we found ourselves in a very quaint place with open views across the harbour mouth. Nice food and cold beer always welcome.
We did try to find somewhere to buy a newspaper….not because we wanted to see any depressing news, but we needed something to stuff into our sodden shoes to help dry them out. But alas there were none to be found.
Ah well I don’t think we’ll be doing much hiking anytime soon!!
Great day out Grenada….with the mud and the crud and the beer.
Remember Remember
5th November 2014
Remember Remember the 5th of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot…..well lets all hope there’s no gunpowder involved, but the treason and plot wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
And what the devil, I hear you all cry, are you talking about?
Well…..I’ve already spoken about the competitiveness of this lot, but it’s definitely starting to feel like this is one of the strangest groups of people we’ve ever travelled with (to be honest it’s not the whole group and I’m sure most of them are very nice individuals) But as usual the antics of the minority tend to capture my attention, and surprisingly it seems to be some of the older ones who are taking centre stage.
Only two days in and already there have been quite a number of arguments among the assembled. Fortunately there hasn’t been any full blown ‘toe to toe’ rows, but a few little niggles and the odd spat or two have taken place. There’s definitely a smattering of Victor Meldrews around ready with a terse ‘You can’t do that’ or a less than polite ‘Do you mind?’ turn of phrase.
And what have the miscreants who are attracting these remarks done to deserve a verbal tongue lashing?
Has he/she barged through an orderly queue to reach the last of the tea cakes??? NO
Has he/she shouted obscenities throughout the show company’s moving rendition of ‘Bring him home’??? NO (but frankly they should have done)
Has he/she been caught rummaging through Mrs Smiths racey underwear in the laundrette??? NO…..have you seen Mrs Smith?
The main cause of the disputes is space, or more importantly, how someone has positioned (or is positioning) themselves within a space.
Just like any resort with a swimming pool the whole lido deck is neatly lined with closely packed chairs and sun loungers each morning ready to receive the sun worshippers. The early birds grab the best position and then proceed to clear some personal space around their chosen spot by shoving the surrounding furniture away, and like a long line of shopping trolleys the loungers scrape across the wooden deck until the one at the end hits something fixed. This is then repeated by others and the result is puddles of occupied loungers arranged randomly around the pool with the rest in a cluttered heap up one corner of the deck, resembling a traffic jam on the M25.
Now as the morning progresses more and more of the bronzed gods arrive for a session of tanning (steady now) and this is when the territorial fights break out. The late arrivals carefully untangle a piece of the discarded furniture and attempt to drag it into a free space…..but those already in position have made sure the space around them isn’t big enough to accommodate the newcomers.
And, of course, it’s not the established occupants who are being inconsiderate…….oh no, that would be a preposterous suggestion. Possession is not only 9/10th of the law it also allows the possessor of the said space to be an evil selfish bastard as well. So as you can see….this is how it all starts.
But then this situation continues into the evening because some of these space dominators take possession of a particular seat at their dinner table as well, and woe betide anyone who disrespects that. They certain don’t tolerate anyone who wishes to ‘rotate around’ their ‘table of eight’ in order to get to know their companions a little better, and it’s not unknown for the weak to be reduced to floods of tears if they even try.
Oh and if any other evidence is needed for you the reader to fully understand the type of folk who are lurking among those we share this trip with, then here it is.
There’s a small party of Germans aboard who are definitely here to have fun and enjoy themselves, just like us. Now like any gathering of friends, irrespective of nationality, they are tending to get louder as the alcohol flows. Ok, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as this is a regular occurrence, again irrespective of nationality, on every cruise we’ve been on.
BUT there are some who are openly affronted by the behaviour of these happy Bavarians, and the fact they are laughing and joking in their own language drives them into the depths of paranoia.
So begins the huddled whispering, the pointing and a determination to be louder just to prove we Brits always know how to have the best time. They even resort to some attempted ‘Basil Fawlty’ mimicry for added effect…..
‘Vot ever you do, don’t mention ze var’
I even heard ‘How dare they’ at one point.
And I want to ask how dare they what?……..speak their own language? Have fun? Be German?
I though the saying was ‘older and wiser’ but just lately I’m not really convinced that’s necessarily right. I just hope that as I get older I don’t become that nasty and cynical.
That’s what I think (TWIT)
Race Y’all……
4th November 2014
Race Y’all!!
In a very short time one thing has become abundantly clear…….the folk on this cruise are some of the most competitive individuals I’ve ever encountered. I say individuals but it appears that some of them are working in pairs, and even as part of a team, in order to subdue and humiliate their unworthy rivals.
It all started around the lido pool this morning with the obligatory show of ‘one-upmanship’ in the innocent guise of a few t-shirts, caps and sweat shirts. These are clearly meant to demonstrate the wearers past cruising prowess and dares all comers to challenge their right to be the ‘top cruise dog’ on this trip. Usually the basic ‘I’ve been to the Seychelles’ brigade will bow to the more experienced ‘We trekked across the Atacama Desert’ mob, who in turn will humbly bend the knee to the more obscure ‘Machu Pichu by lama’ elite.
But not this time as many posed using the multiple displays from around the globe tactics in an attempt to outflank their strutting opponents, who would not yield under any circumnavigation of the world….no sir!
Anything from Europe and Australasia was dismissed without a second glance and the previously obscure trips to ‘The Real Rural China’ were now considered ‘old hat’ and literally relegated to the bottom of the bragging rights league table with ‘nil point’.
Whilst initially it was considered that ‘Whale Surfing the St Lawrence’ was a very strong contender in the early rounds, the wearer was summarily disqualified from the competition after it was discovered to be a fake.
After many a taunt and several grunts of intimidation, it came down to a direct, one round, winner takes all face off as ‘I’ve herded penguins by helicopter in the Falklands’ met ‘We tracked polar bears in Longyearben’ in the breakfast at Palm’s Café final. After much parading and swaggering the parties involved decided to call it a draw and went off together to compare notes, but in reality this was just an attempt to bore each other to death to decide the true winner.
Now that was just the start of it.
Anyway, maybe more on that another time, back to the story in hand and even more worrying was the behaviour of some of the passengers during the ‘walk a mile around the decks’ activity earlier today. Despite the member of staff, who was in charge of the event, insisting that the walk would be conducted at ‘a gentle pace’ and ‘it was all just a bit of fun’, it transpires that three of the weaker and less ambulant attendees are now receiving treatment in the medical centre for trample injuries, and apparently one poor lady is still missing.
I admit I may have slightly exaggerated the competitiveness of these situations, but trust me this ‘one-upmanship’ happens, and nowhere more so than in a tin box full of bloody-minded people. It all comes down to the fact that we the human race still retain so much of our basic animal instinct and we desperately need to prove that we’re ‘so much better than you’.
Now I can accept this trait in the young, after all it’s quite natural to want to prove yourself to be the best at that age, but in my experience the older generation are just as bad and I find it strange that those who no longer need to prove themselves work so hard to proclaim themselves as the ‘top dog’.
Instead of accepting that ‘we all do what we do the way we want to do it’ there are those who go out of their way to suggest their life has been brilliant and yours?…….well frankly it’s just not good enough.
How arrogant.
Well that’s what I think anyway!!!
and a little bit more :)
2nd October 2014
Sea Day – a final word about sea days!
It’s inevitable that a cruise will involve a large amount of travel across open water (obviously) and this will include a varying number of days at sea in order to reach the destination of your choice (you can tell I’ve really got the hang of this cruising malarkey)
For us though, sea days are a very important part of the cruise experience.
It is really great to explore all the new ports we visit, but for us sea days are an added bonus, something special. A chance to relax, or be active, read, write, explore the ship or just sit, as Cheryl often does, watching the ever changing motion of the ocean (‘and the sun in the sky’ for all you Hairspray the Musical lovers) hoping to catch an occasional glimpse of the wildlife as it passes us by
Now you may be surprised to learn that not everyone feels the same way as we do and for some of our fellow passengers the section of travel between ports is a living nightmare and the long journey home is worse. The sea is the enemy and the ship’s presence merely annoys it into a turbulent rage, and these mindless sheep follow suit.
Like maritime werewolves they howl and bay at the sea. It disturbs them, it hurts their eyes which redden as the mist descends. But the sea is not perturbed by their rants, nay its vast power would easily overcome and destroy them, so they turn on each other.
Patience is lost, tempers flare, a mere seed of irritation rubs quickly to a blister of immense rage, and as the ship gently rolls with the lazy swell of the ocean it seems that personal characteristics become enhanced. While the normally positive, relaxed individual becomes almost comatose, the irritating git transforms into, well you get the picture.
So with this in mind, I have a solution to deal with these obnoxicants (as you can tell this is not a real word, but it should be)
It is with great pleasure I give you……………………………….
“Toss the Tosser”
Good afternoon everybody and welcome to this ‘cruise lines’ new sea day activity “Toss the Tosser.”
Is there someone on board who is particularly obnoxious, odorous or just clearly a waste of space, then this is just the activity for you. Enjoy consequence free retribution and while away the long hours at sea by ridding the world of one annoying little git.
The rules are simple.
Between 09.00 and 10.00 on ‘Toss Day’ everyone on board gets to cast a vote and the passenger who receives the most votes becomes the designated ‘Tosser’
The Tosser is now given 10 minutes to hide somewhere on the ship. Any Tosser caught leaving the ship during the ‘hide time’ will automatically forfeit any onboard credit they have and will also waive their rights to any later rescue attempt by the crew.
At the end of the ‘hide time’ the ship’s whistle will sound, this will signal the start of the ‘Toss’ phase of the activity. The remaining passengers now have around one hour to locate the ‘Tosser’ and ‘Toss’ him or her from the ship.
Please note that only the designated ‘Tosser’ (who can be clearly identified by a high visibility waistcoat with beeping and flashing beacons) is eligible for the ‘Toss’ and anyone caught ‘Tossing’ none designated persons will be denied access to the ships dining rooms for a period of 24 hours.
If at the end of one hour the ‘Tosser’ has not been located and ‘Tossed’ they will be allowed to remain in hiding indefinitely until the remaining passengers can no longer identify them as a ‘Tosser’
Following a successful ‘Toss’ the ship’s company may ‘give a toss’ and instigate a rescue of the ‘Tosser’ but no guarantee is offered and the attempt will be solely at the discretion of Dave, the ship’s cat.
No cruise staff are to be included in the vote, search or ‘Toss’ and any passengers claiming to have mistakenly ‘Tossed’ the Captain instead of Mr Pugh of A deck will be required to pose for and purchase an entire album of pictures from the ships photographers.
Please note that this cruise line accepts no liability for any injury occurring as a direct result of this activity and passengers taking part do so at their own risk (except for the ‘Tosser’ of course)
We hope you enjoy this new and innovative activity and if you are voted for then maybe next time you cruise you may consider being a bit more pleasant to your fellow passengers, and a bit less of a ‘Tosser’.
Thank You.
Noisy but Harmless 