Tag Archives: Quote

The Other Side of Me

10.15 pm – Even though it was quite late by the time Freddie got back to the Dog he was hoping his friend would still be there waiting for him.
“She’s not been in at all tonight Freddie.” John picked a clean glass off the rack. “Stopping for a drink?”
“No thanks, bit strapped for cash tonight.”
“Is everything alright Freddie?” John sounded genuinely concerned.
“I think so. Things are just mixed up in my head at the moment, that’s all.”
As Freddie turned to leave John called him back.
“Isn’t it strange,” he said, “That when you get up in the morning some things seem very simple, but as soon as you get into bed they become so complicated it ruins the rest of your day.” He put a pint of bitter down on the counter. “There’s a lesson there for everyone I think, and this one’s on the house.”

cover draft6

 

 

Now available as a paperback or for Kindle at Amazon

 

 

 

Advertisements

Oh the Joys………

cover draft6

 

Their bedroom had finally become a battlefield, it was literally ‘load up and charge’ but in the heat of this conflict Freddie was out of ammunition and the ensuing fight had dared to question the ownership and quality of the gun.

The Other Side of Me

Just a snippet from the book 🙂

 
cover draft6

 

She’s got me on supplements of iron, zinc, copper, chromium, selenium and magnesium. I’m not quite sure if we’re trying to make a baby or build a robot.

 

Confused? you will be……..

6th September 2014

Sea Day – Inside Out

Much better day as far as the fair weather cruisers are concerned and the sun is back out, and therefore so are the brown wrinkly bodies. I’ve commented before about how much sun some of our older companions expose themselves to and although it’s not the prettiest of sights there is the more worrying aspect with regards to the potential risk of melanomas. But then maybe as we age we care less about certain things, and mainly do we worry less about what happens to ourselves? In the fullness of time I may be able to give you an answer but I’ve still got a long way to go before I know………..I HOPE.
Great story has emerged today about the lady who has complained that the inside cabin she booked doesn’t have a window overlooking the sea, or any window for that matter. When the guest relations manager explained that only outside cabins have windows she got really shirty and asked why a cabin outside would need a window when it’s already…….well already outside. It took a while for the crew member to explain that the outside cabin wasn’t actually outside but rather outside on the inside, whereas the inside was in fact inside the outside cabins and therefore if it did have a window then it would be looking directly inside an outside cabin and not outside.
As a gesture of goodwill she was then offered a complementary upgrade to an outside cabin. She thanked the manager for his kind offer but said she’d prefer to have a cabin on the inside which had a window looking outside rather than being in an outside cabin with a window looking outside, which she considered was actually impossible. When it was pointed out again that the cabin wasn’t actually outside but rather inside, outside the inside one she already had, she asked if she could have one with a sea view instead.
I believe the guest relations manager is flying home on long term sick leave tomorrow. Talking of which we’ll actually be on dry land tomorrow, Newfoundland to be exact and the town of St John’s. Hopefully then some sanity will return both to the passengers and this blogger, but I guess there’s a good chance for one but certainly not the other.

***********

More Sea Day Fun

3rd September 2014

Sea Day – A bright and sunny day

More importantly it’s our 35th wedding anniversary and I can’t believe where the time has gone. But I am grateful to the lovely lady who’s put up with me for all those years. Happy Anniversary Cheryl xx

There used to be a very popular TV show that claimed ‘Animals do the funniest things’ the grammar implying nothing else could be funnier. But I have to totally disagree with that statement because I’ve yet to see an animal acting as daft as some of our fellow cruisers do.
It’s an undeniable fact that there is enough food on the average cruise ship to……well to ‘sink a ship’ (if you’ll excuse the pun) But there always seems to be a number of individuals on board who feel the cruise company is laying down some sort of a challenge and are determined to do their very best to try eating their way through several tons of delicious fare. But in order to attempt this seemingly impossible feat they are forced to spend all morning charging round the decks at a million miles an hour in the hope that they’ll burn off most of the calories they consumed at breakfast in order to prevent themselves from actually exploding during lunch. This activity is then repeated in the afternoon for the same reasons, but only if they manage to prize themselves off the toilet first, which out of necessity is where they tend to spend most of the day.
Now please don’t get me wrong because I certainly enjoy a stroll around the promenade to treat my lungs to the clean ozone rich air all around us and to feel the fresh sea breeze and salty spray on my face (please leave the room if you had a little giggle to yourself over that last comment, shame on you.) But just lately this healthy ritual has almost become a near death experience for those of us who merely amble around at a leisurely pace as the self proclaimed ‘professional foodies’ have no choice if they don’t want to become comatose from hyperglycaemic shook and have only one goal in mind, and woe betide anyone who gets in their way.
So we’ve discovered it’s far more entertaining (and safer) to sit around the back of the ship watching the mass of wobbly bodies panting at break neck pace around the promenade deck in hunting packs. The weak are trampled, the slow are tutted and moaned at until they concede room for the bullies to pass. They have to willingly punish themselves in order to abuse their poor overly distended stomachs further with indescribable amounts of grub at every possible opportunity, and trust me there are many, many opportunities.
And I’m reminded of a very famous poem. Here is my version……………

The Charge of the Cruise Brigade
(Influenced by ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’ by Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Twenty laps, twenty laps, twenty laps onward,
All around Balmoral’s decks
Strode the six hundred.
Forward the Cruise Brigade
Charged you the food displayed
Now on the decks parade
Strode the six hundred.

Take heart the Cruise Brigade
First sitting almost laid.
Crew still in shock, amazed
How lunch was plundered.
Theirs not to give reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs just to make more pie
For the six hundred.

Burgers to the right of them,
Teacakes to the left of them,
Spare ribs to the front of them,
Tempted by custard.
Bombarded with bacon roll,
Boldly they scoffed then stole
Down to Palm Café with bowl
Starving six hundred.

Flashed knives and forks they bare,
Flashed as they feasted there.
Stunned all the waiters stare
Greedy six hundred
Straight through the buffet broke
Spurred on by rum and coke,
Sous Chef and Commis choke
Their tears greatly numbered.

Then as a savoury treat
Cheese trampled under feet
Cheddar and stilton eat
Crackers out-numbered.
Down to the final plate
Chef is in such a state
Supper club would now be late
Damn you six hundred.

Burgers to the right of them,
Teacakes to the left of them,
Spare ribs behind them,
Where were those hiding?
With so much food in store
Rest there could be no more,
Pride has to win, for sure
Turn back six hundred.

Sound aloud that tea-time bell.
Bravely face this living hell
Till none are left to tell
Of the six hundred.

J.A.G. 5/9/14
With thanks to Alfred Lord Tennyson for the original poem

Guaranteed………….

If something’s worth doing……..Someone is bound to form a committee.

Gifted

“There is only so much we can carry through life, and if we insist on clinging to too much of the past it might restrict us from collecting the very best of the presents…..”

%d bloggers like this: